I’ve shared before how much God has poured His grace upon me when it comes to worry. What’s the expression…a worry wart? That was me! God has helped me in so many ways to eliminate worry from my daily living and live in a more peaceful state. I won’t recap it all, you can find out about my road from worry wart to worry recovery here http://jenniferzelop.com/god/everyday-living-with-god-5/
However, the devil had other plans for me the other night. During a vulnerable time (while I was sleeping) and at around 3 am, I woke up in a full blown state of worry. Very much like a panic attack. After about an hour of tossing and turning, I decided to get out of bed and go upstairs to my home office. I thought “no point in laying in bed tossing and turning” and I literally could not calm myself down. It was a spiral of chaos in my head. I tried meditating, breathing and affirmations and nothing was making my brain slow down. All I knew then to do was open up my bible and take comfort in God’s word. When I started reading God’s word, I quickly realized that my worry appeared because I wasn’t trusting God with my current situation.
I was trying to control the outcome and trying to control other’s actions. I was thinking about all the What If’s not the Even If’s. What if this happens, I could be….vs….Even if that happens, God will not forsake me. In trying to control the situation, I had stepped way from God and turned it into all about me figuring out a solution for the situation. I was totally disconnected from Source. I was in my head feeling isolated and scared and I couldn’t feel God’s presence. And that’s where the devil wants us to be. In scripture, the devil likes to attack us to keep us from God and especially right before a big breakthrough. The devil needs more envy in this world, more fear, more jealousy, more limiting beliefs….the devil wants you to feel isolated. Within moments of reading a few passages of scripture which I have earmarked for “emergency” situations, I immediately began to calm down. In Psalm 143:3, David speaks of dwelling in dark places. I was like yup, I’m there now. I was stuck in spiral of gloom and doom versus seeing the peruviol silver lining in my situation. In verse 4, David goes on to explain “my spirit overwhelmed and faints within me, my heart grows numb.” When I read this, I screamed Yes! I just spent the last hour in my head, disconnected from my heart and therefore disconnected from Source. I read further and in verse 5, learned that in order to help remedy his “condition” David chooses to remember the good times. That’s what we are supposed to do. God tells us right here. Remember the “good” times. It’s hard sometimes, right? We get into this crazy spiral downward of the What if’s when what we really need to do is stop and bring up from recall our happier moments. Sometimes we tend to meditate on the problem rather than meditate on our joyful experiences of past days. Start allowing yourself moments throughout the day to recall past joys and to realize all the wonderful blessings that currently surround you and all the possibilities of what is yet to come. And then…..in verse 6 we are told “David praises the Lord!” Yes! Even in our troubled times, praise God. We know in our trials and tribulations, we build strength, character, resilience and most important, faith. How do we know this? Because we have God’s word and testimony! Our own and others. We know that we get through the hard times. If you’re reading this, think about the tough times you’ve gotten through and how you’ve seen it through to the other side. That’s your testimony and proof. Then in verse 7, David asks for God’s help. We know that “It is the Lord who goes before you.
He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8
In verse 8, David waits to hear from the Lord. After reading this verse, I realized that when I’m in my head and cut off from Source, I can’t hear the Lord speaking to me. Those little ideas, the little sparks of imagination, the brief images of possibility. Being cut off from God is going to add to your stress levels and worry. It’s where the Devil wants you to be. After reading for quite some time, I was calm and back connected to my heart. I ended up meandering into the kitchen to get some water and right then I heard an inner voice of direction. And the funny of it all was that it was direction regarding an unrelated situation! In verse 9, David prays for deliverance from his problem. What’s interesting though is that he continues to speak to God and about the wonderful things God has and will continue to do for him. David takes his focus off of the problem and turns his mind on God. I learned quickly that evening, when I’m focused on my problem, it’s a deep spiral downward into fear. When I’m focused on the possibilities, on the joy in my life and how big my Lord is….it’s a quick leap forward into a bright and abundant future.